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conscious women creating a full, meaningful life

Editor’s Letter: August (A Commitment to Do Better)

August 1, 2018

 

This morning we woke up to August. We woke up eight months into the year and freaking out not because it’s August but because September is a month away. September!!!!

 

We're caged between the summer eclipses' and all the planets’ retrogrades. Everything is bubbling up and we can suppress what we’ve been called to examine in our lives no more. 

 

The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius (last week) was big for me. It prompted me to address a lingering discomfort within myself and my platform and rise towards something more whole.

 

As I continue to open up internal dialogue about what I want to achieve in this next chapter of Hook, I have realised, under these exposing skies, that the topics I discuss and themes I set out to explore require something far greater from me. That I cannot go on to raise others’ consciousness if I don’t pull apart the ways in which I operate in society and on this platform myself.

 

I am learning spirit to be less consumed by my own personal healing and instead a call to project outwards towards others and the planet. It’s how I act but it’s not about me. 

 

On the eve of said Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, I tuned in to The Numinous’s live call “designed to move white people into concrete action to dismantle white supremacy and to redirect white people to ongoing education from people of color, specifically black women.”

 

Respectively, I am writing my August Editor’s Letter in an attempt to share this incentive and to address the presence of white supremacy that lurks between the walls of my platform. 

 

I have previously shared very little on the causes I support publicly through Hook’s platform. That of inclusivity and equality contained. As a public platform that aims to explore the experience of conscious women - I've realised, that hasn’t been very conscious of me. I try to have mindful public-personal boundaries in regards to sharing on social media - especially as I’m still finding my voice, but as a platform (especially one that focuses on spiritual humanitarianism), I have a duty to address matters of race and equality. I can no longer protect my need (privilege) for privacy as proximity for white silence. 

 

I need to show up for BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Colour). I need to change the way I take up space and remove the white centering of my practice. 

 

One of the ways I have come to understand my complicity of unconscious white supremacy within my performativity, is through the white exceptionalism of thinking I just don't know enough to respectfully and mindfully talk about race. But as Ruby and Aaron (The Numinous) spoke out on, we need to dismantle the conditioning of white people thinking they cannot be taught by BIPOC. White supremacy conditioning has never allowed being taught by someone who’s skin is darker than my own to be a norm and so I allowed that to slip into the discourse I practice. But I no longer want to stay on the side of the oppressor. I want to learn to take accountability for the inclusivity of my platform and tear down any conditioning that has left white supremacy alive and therefore racism a place to feed. 

 

By familiarising myself on the work of Layla Saad (Wild Mystic Woman), I have begun to unpick the ways I allow unconscious bias to show through Hook and have begun the work of taking greater responsibility for BIPOC. Through her 28-Day #MeAndWhiteSupremacy Questions, I have discovered more truth in the ways my white privilege shows up than ever before. I have learnt how my white fragility has shown up in silence, how not speaking up because ‘I don’t know enough to comment’ has been straight-up white apathy and have learnt so much on how much optical allyship is out there on the internet (and how I can identify when someone’s jumping on the activism bandwagon without actually doing the work).  

 

These lessons are ongoing for me and they’ll only continue to be ongoing if I contribute to the conversation. I’ll learn how to respond and apologise when I’m called out for upholding white centric feminism, I’ll learn to not take the optical road into inclusivity through the tokenism of BIPOC, I’ll learn that jumping into this discussion without making commitments to change won’t make me appear woke, it’ll make me more racist than ever. 

 

Before, if I were to be called ‘racist’, it would’ve severely saddened me. Probably to the point of tears. Nobody wants to be seen as racist, and even if you are racist - you don’t see yourself as such. How would you react if you were called racist? If like me, you would be saddened yet you have contributed little to the conversation about your position of privilege or put in place concrete inclusivity for BIPOC within your space, your hypothetical tears of white fragility wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. 

 

I don’t want congratulations or praise for being transparent in where I’ve previously failed - the thought of such makes my stomach churn. This isn't supposed to be self-serving. My values are transforming and I have woken up to the ways in which I have been unconsciously flawed. It isn't BIPOC’s burden to teach white people about their racism. It isn’t anyone’s responsibility to educate you on practicing better anti-racism other than your own. But I guess if you do come across someone who has given you the gift of enlightenment - thank them through a commitment to do the work. (Along with paying them when appropriate.) 

 

I can’t unlearn what I’ve learnt about my own stories and how I’ve previously lacked in providing for BIPOC but I also can’t stay silent about it - no matter the picture it paints of me. Spirituality has been used by many, including myself, as a white exceptionalism mask to not dig deep because it’s a lens that thrives off the pedestal of already being all love and light - without fault. But as it moves through the mainstream faster than lightning, we must expose these essential truths to ascend as one inclusive body. Spirituality is about using your inner voice - we now need to extend that power to validate the vast distinctions of the human experience. Meaning staying complicit no more.

 

I commit to doing better.

 

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